Everyone is jealous about what you've got. Nobody is jealous about how you've got it.
If you catch yourself glancing enviously at someone else's journey - feeling low as you see others achieving what seems out of reach - pause and ask: What did it take them to get where they are?
Sure, yes, you probably can't imagine every gritty detail of their path, but you can stitch enough together. Besides, people love to talk about themselves, so asking is another way to get insights about their journey.
What can you learn from this exercise?
The process of how you get to a certain state is the opposite of sexy. It often takes years and quite a few failed attempts to get to a place where you are happy with what you're doing.
All of this means not that much time spent lying around in your pajamas and not that much time spent binge-watching trendy shows.
Are you willing to take on that journey?
Many people aren't.
Our world is now engineered for instant pleasure. It's easy to get hooked on the latest trend. It's hard to keep yourself focused on doing the same thing over and over again.
The solution to all of this is frustratingly simple (yet still remarkably hard): Figure out a type of work that makes you feel happy and commit to it.
For me, the parameters of my well-being are annoyingly clear: as long as I am reading and writing, I am pleased with myself.
Does that mean I'm immune to jealousy? Far from it. But instead of wallowing in envy when I see others succeeding, I try to channel it as fuel to keep returning to the process of doing the work.
Worth reflecting on:
What would happen if you stopped comparing yourself to others and simply focused on your own growth?
Comparison often breeds unnecessary stress - feeling behind, inadequate, or like you’re not doing enough. If you shift your focus inward, however, you measure progress based on where you started rather than where someone else is.
When you remove the distraction of comparison, you can clearly see your own path. Instead of chasing someone else’s version of success, you define what success looks like for you. Your energy is no longer fragmented by trying to match up to others; it's directed toward your own ideals.
Worth reading:
From my desk:
From around the web:
- things I learned from my ex-boss Dinesh: "Lots of people don’t know what they want. They don’t really try very hard to figure out what they want. Many don’t really believe it’s even possible. Amongst those who try, many aren’t very systematic about it, or they “try too hard” and agonize about it unproductively."
Worth thinking about:
"Losing hope is not so bad. There's something worse: losing hope and hiding it from yourself."
― Walker Percy
In the piece shared above, I Got Tired of My Own Inability to Focus on One Thing, is where I explain why I killed my last project before it had a chance to see the light of day.
I mentioned the situation in my last newsletter, and here I'm highlighting this because many people were curious to read about the whole story. So, here you go - check out the article above.
Talk soon!
